A Secret Recipe from Ms. Ivana

Location: Aboard the Brimstone, docked
Time: Just this past weekend in which the author has a conversation with Ms. Ivana

Ms. Ivana?

I’m a little busy right now, short stuff. Can it wait?

Ms. Ivana, I was hoping--

Hush a second. These fuel calculations don’t do themselves, you know.

But don’t you have a pilot and a captain to do those?

Of course I do, hon, but a girl needs to check these things. My boys are good, but demons will make mistakes…did you need something?

I was hoping you’d share your cinnamon roll recipe. The one Shax loves so much.

Oh, sweetie, not on your life. I shared it once because my adorable little Captain Hottie asked me so nicely, but that was diplomacy. Important stuff. I don’t just give it away, hon.

No, ma’am. Would never suggest it. But the boys can’t stop talking about the things you make for them. Couldn’t you share one little thing? Please?

No need to sounds so desperate, sweetie. I’ll hook you up with something nice. Hold on…ooooooh, I have just the thing! You’ll love this. There aren’t too many places out here to order good cream cheese, but when we have it, our Shaxy just dies over this. All the little moans are positively filthy! Perfect for when he’s in one of his tempers.

Got it. Filthy, orgasmic moan food. What is it?

Cheesecake, of course, sweetums.

Ivana’s Special Shax Taming Cheesecake

1 ¼ c graham cracker crumbs
2 tbsp sugar
3 (plus maybe a little bit) tbsp. melted butter (margarine’s fine, if you must *sigh*)
3 pckgs (8 oz) of cream cheese + 1 pckg (3 oz) (Don’t ask – this is the perfect amount.)
1 c sugar
2 tsp lemon peel (No, you can’t use lemon juice! Stop trying to substitute things!)
¼ vanilla ext.
3 eggs

Oven at 350. Stir the graham cracker and 2 tbsp sugar together, then mix in the butter thoroughly. Press into the bottom of a 9 in Springform (honey, you can use something else if you have to, but this works best.) Bake 10 minutes. Take that hot little crust out and let it cool.

Turn the oven down to 300. In a large bowl, beat the cream cheese, adding the sugar gradually until it is super, super fluffy. The fluffiest fluffy you can get. Add the lemon peel (Put that lemon juice away! I’m going to smack you!) and the vanilla. Beat in the eggs. One. At. A. Time. Fluffy, remember? Fluffy, fluffy, fluffy.

You’re gonna bake that bad thing about an hour. The center should be firm. Then you need to let it cool off a bit before you stick it in the fridge. Be patient. This is the hardest part for Shax, so I let him lick the beaters. That’s to keep him quiet and so I can watch him lick the beaters. Be still my heart. Let it sit in the fridge for at least three hours before you run a knife around the outside edge and take the outer rim of the Springform off. Put whatever you want on top – but you have to try it plain just once.
There. Happy?

You don’t even know. And incredibly hungry now, too.