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Stuff We Like #10

1/21/2015

2 Comments

 
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Hello Everyone! And welcome to another 'Stuff We Like'. Today features the one, the only, Freddy MacKay. How could it not? Today, of all days, is National Squirrel Appreciation Day after all.

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Yes. *laughs heartedly* Today is my day. I am fabulous, so I should have a day dedicated to myself.

See? Aren't I a gorgeous squirrel? Catherine got my likeness down pat, dontcha think? *struts*

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Squirrels are fantastic creatures to study, emulate, worship as the gods we are.

Thanks to us, trees grow everywhere. Our nuts sprout through the evil concrete and pavement laid down by silly humans, standing proud and tall, giving us food and shelter, clean air to breathe. That's more than the humans do for us. Sometimes we have to dig beneath their unnatural dwellings to get our nuts back because without the trees, the earth's beauty diminishes. Plus then we don't have anywhere to pack our hoard of nuts. Do you realize how cold it gets? Those papers and clothes you leave out do make for excellent nests. Thank you for that.

But despite the handicap humans carry with them, not understanding the earth of the trees, we squirrels do our part to help train you. We run out into the road, readying your reflexes, testing your alertness. We all need to be prepared to outrun those small little pink things that run after you screaming. (Those white clothe thingys attached to them smell, you mind fixing that, yeah?)

We also work on that empathy humans struggle with. You are learning slowly. The offerings you put out for us when the snow falls is appreciated. Why you put our food in those horrid little boxes the birds steal from is beyond us, but it makes for good exercise and skill building-the better to learn roof jumping with. Your eves make fabulous party spots.

A little small for humans, though.

Maybe if you let us when we stop by and knock, we could get to know each other better. Next time. Next time. Oh, and we'd appreciate it if the dog was leashed up, their mouths are particularly big and teethy. They also seem to think they're superior since you pick up their dropping for them (how embarrassing they don't know how to potty correctly, no?)

So yes, today we should be celebrated for all our gloriousness, for you puny humans would be nothing without us. You would not know the glory of nuts and how good they feel when you get them in your mouth, and you wouldn't have those fabulous hand-eye reflexes needed for survival. Someone had to teach you, and we squirrels have taken it upon ourselves to make sure you grow up proper in the world.

You can leave the nuts in the basket.

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2 Comments
Angel Martinez link
1/21/2015 01:57:21 am

I leave suet out for the squirrels. Whose yard has the fattest squirrels? This author.

Reply
Freddy link
1/21/2015 02:11:47 am

LOL. *pets Angel* Good author, very good author. You'll do nicely.

Reply



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  • Home
  • Bookstore
    • Coming Soon
    • Paperbacks
    • Audiobooks
    • Translated Works >
      • Translated Paperbacks
  • Authors
    • Andi Anderson
    • Angel Martinez
    • Carole Cummings
    • Evelyn Benvie
    • Foster Bridget Cassidy
    • Freddy MacKay
    • Gregory L Norris
    • J Scott Coatsworth
    • Jana Denardo
    • Jayne Lockwood
    • Jill Wexler
    • K.S. Trenten
    • Kassandra Lea
    • Lou Sylvre
    • Mathilde Watson
    • Mere Rain
    • Nicole Dennis
    • Sandra C. Stixrude
    • Silvia Violet
    • Siri Paulson
    • Toni Griffin
    • Tray Ellis
  • Submissions
  • Our Blog
  • Where is MCB
  • Shenanigans Press